The walk and vulnerability

Embarking on an 8-hour walk was not about the physical journey for me; it was a profound exploration of my own emotions, a trek into the depths of my soul. As I traversed the miles, the spectrum of feelings that unfolded was both unexpected and cathartic, revealing the vulnerability that lies beneath the surface of our everyday lives.

At the genesis of my walk, I felt an inexplicable presence – a sense that my fiancé was walking beside me. The memories of our time together, the shared laughter, and the warmth of his companionship enveloped me. It was a bittersweet comfort, a reminder that even in loss, the essence of those we love can linger in the most unexpected moments. 

Soon, my walk was marked by another unexpected companion: laughter. It was the light-hearted chuckle of amusement, as I started to notice the same old thoughts in my head. Crazy and whimsical ideas danced in my mind, and instead of dismissing them, I embraced the absurdity of it all. It was a liberating experience, allowing myself to laugh at the chaos within, acknowledging that sometimes, the best way to navigate through the complexities of life is with a sense of humor. I was happy to be noticing them and simply allowing them to pass.

As the journey continued, the laughter gave way to tears.  I allowed them to flow freely as I confronted the tragedies life had thrown my way. The pain of losing my fiancé, the weight of grief, and the unspoken ache that lingered in the recesses of my heart all surged to the forefront. Each step became a cathartic release, a silent acknowledgment of the wounds and how much they had healed through my journey to the Ironman World Championships. And how far they still had to go. The path beneath my feet mirrored the emotional terrain I navigated within myself.

Time really flew by out there. At the six hour mark, I knew I was not done so, I refilled my water bottle and started out on another loop. I don’t remember much of this final loop. I was so deep in though, in a very deep meditative state. I was about releasing and moving forward. Allowing the past to be and creating a new future. 

With that last loop,  the mental and emotional fatigue settled in, casting a shadow over the initial exuberance of the journey. The weight of introspection, the emotional rollercoaster, and the sheer duration of the walk began to take its toll. My steps became heavier, and the path, once inviting, now seemed long.

Eight hours and 25 miles later, a deep sense of knowing settled within me – it was time to stop walking. The journey had served its purpose, leading me through laughter, tears, memories, and reflections. Acknowledging this moment of closure was both humbling and liberating. I had ventured into the recesses of my soul, confronted my vulnerabilities, and emerged on the other side with a newfound understanding of myself and my next step forward 

My 8-hour walk was an unexpected journey into the realms of vulnerability. I laughed at the quirks of my mind, I cried for the pain I carried, and I felt the enduring presence of love. As the exhaustion set in, I realized that sometimes the most profound moments of self-discovery come when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to embrace the full spectrum of our emotions. This walk was not just a physical feat; it was a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the transformative power of vulnerability.

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